who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Poop swing

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

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balls

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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Women's Rights.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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