A sober Amy Winehouse

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"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

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What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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My dad

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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