What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

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That moment when the best part of your life is when you get 50 friends on Facebook....

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What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

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knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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Why the USA support the 'Kony 2012'? For Oil

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Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops