Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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Why was the gay guy sad?

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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i just pooped that is all!

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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I can count to potato.

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Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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