Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

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what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Yo Momma is so fat she is at risk of contracting Type 2 Diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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Knock knock Who's there Boo Boo who DONT BE SUCH A PUS*Y

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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