Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

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Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

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Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? roger rabbit while hilarious, was an idiot and framed himself....mind F***.

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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