Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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