Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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brock has small hands for a small job

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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