Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops