What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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Your Mother

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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