Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -13

hey im leon and i love the chuckie

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the blonde switch the lamp on? Because it was getting dark

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops