i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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