If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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Moooo

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What is the difference between a baby and a rat? I don't have a rat in a cage

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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there was once a jew

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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