Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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An Irish man walks past a bar... it could happen...

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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What did the teacher do? He taught.

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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Reading books

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Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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