How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Turkeys are obese

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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There's a black guy and a white guy standing in a bar, surprisingly the black guy doesn't die. This isn't a racist joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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