What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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What happen? Idk...

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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Yo mama is so poor she used the welfare system and is a family of 4 and has a successful business now

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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