Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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Steve jumps through a window...he forgot he was on the 231st floor...He dies

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What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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