What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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A:knock, knock B:who's there A:come in B:come in who A:me I'm gay

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you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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