if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross a train track and a bumpy feild, Further along on your GPS map.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Pandas Everywhere!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

watch me nae nae

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many people live in China? At least ten.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

FUCK THE JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops