What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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Why did the Chicken cross the road Because he was not happy with his life at a chicken due to the fact take he was going to get eaten by a black man so he hoped that if he crossed the ride and got hit by a car and die he would regenerate into a poisonous frog

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Did you hear about the guy who came onto his best friend's wife? Yeah, she handed him some kleenex after and told him to wipe it off.

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Batman. Batman who? Batman is stunned by the fact that there is in fact someone that does not know him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops