Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

whats 69+2? 71

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

this website even though its hilarious.

Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

What's the difference between a horse and a gorilla? Their penis size. Horses have relatively large penises, while gorillas are known to have the smallest penises proportional to their body size.

whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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