I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Jeff

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Why do people make jokes about cancer? Oviously to get thier ass kicked!!! -BY:KOLBY HOOKS

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it followed the trail of bird feed strewn across it.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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