MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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Three black men were walking...

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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