What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

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Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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A Fat Kenyan

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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squash squash who squash my ass

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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which one does not belong light bulb i have read an agree to the terms of service view terms of service submit

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What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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