What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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Women's rights.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

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Lil Wayne's rapping career

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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i just pooped that is all!

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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Why was the gay guy sad?

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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I can count to potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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