Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i just wrote this so hard

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I'm a fork. Fork you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Reading books

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops