How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

thumb_up thumb_down +19

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Winter

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

shut up kobe!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I'm a champion. I do what I want.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How tall is oprah.. 5'7

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops