You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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What's better than a nice hot shower on a cold, rainy day? Osama bin Laden rotting away at the bottom of the ocean.

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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identical jokes get different votes.

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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I'm hungry.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

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Click here for free sandwich.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

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why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Q. Why did the triceratops die? A. A giant meteor hit him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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