What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

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Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

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Why did the black man get lynched? Because he committed eight murders and six double homicides, and the judge wanted him dead...

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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The WNBA.

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops