two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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tommy is retared

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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