What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

Grace Ackerson

On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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