A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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You just wasted time of your life reading this, and perhaps even more wasted time thumbing this down.

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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