Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

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What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

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Whats black and red inside? A black guy

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops