what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

A man had sex with his secretary. She was his wife.

Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

think twice or at least think

why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

Womens' sports

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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