A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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