Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

What did the peanut say to the jelly

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

Roses are black Violets are too I am a dog I don't know how to rhyme

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

a man walks into a bar and it hurts

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

I dont have a girlfriend

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.