What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did death say to life? Go die

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wanker

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Don't believe in Atheists.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops