A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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69

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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