"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

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Massie is a fatass

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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Ily bae

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The MLS

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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