Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Church.

Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

Vagina.

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

Hi

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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