Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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hi

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A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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You're a frog

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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pudding

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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