A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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whats 69+2? 71

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What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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What did the Black man get after a month's worth of manual labour? A reasonable wage, that was above the national minimum wage standard which states his and everyones right to a certain amount of money

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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Knock knock What?

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9

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What do you call a black man? A person

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What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? this overused joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

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Black people are the scum of the earth

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops