What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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