How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

What did the hispanic guy say after he took a bite out of a McDonald's hot n' spicy chicken sandwhich. I'm lovin' it.

Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

Im taking a shit right now.

Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

What's brown and sticky? Anal

Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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