How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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what is the world worst joke? this one

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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Knock Knock! Come in..

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Black people deserve to be slaves for their entire lives. WHITE POWER.

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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Yo mama is so poor she used the welfare system and is a family of 4 and has a successful business now

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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