Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock who's there? faith

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why didn't the chicken cross the road ? because half way acroos he got hit by a car and the animal heath care had to take him away and put him down

thumb_up thumb_down +6

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A priest and a rabii walk into a bar. Both men, despite both being good people and well respected in their communities, aren't able to overcome their differences which are signified by their religions. Both men later leave the bar and surround themselves with people of their own kin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops