roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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25

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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i like men but im not gay

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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