Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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2 + 2 = fish

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops