So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How high is a Chinaman

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

And Stephen Hawking said.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

DO NOT CONTACT THE ONES THAT LEFT! I REPEAT DO NOT CONTACT THE NEWCOMERS THAT LEFT! Nero7 was not the only one that became suspicious when we suddenly found thousands upon thousands of new potential members more than willing to join us, many of not most of them, before even learning any essential details about our purpose! While many morons and idiots assumed that Neronism was becoming popular, we all fucking know that we have done everything to keep this all hidden! And then suddenly everything from wealthy people to politicians arrive? No way! Nero7 is with us, and while we have thanks to the hidden camera`s he insisted we install about everywhere except under the goddamn toilet bowls, we have concluded that these people all have similar racial traits, and all speak the same language. Nero7 is barely conscious due to fever, but he keeps pointing at the screen and shouting Russian Spetznas! If this is true, (and to us it sounds Russian and they are obviously very coordinated and no simple grunts) Then we are all screwed... I mean from Nero7`s feverish ramblings and and his database, we can only assume that this is some sort of rogue sub department, of a smaller force than we first assumed, but these guys consist first and foremost of specialized soldiers and hackers... We are scrambling for ideas, exit strategies, while doing our best to get Nero7 out of here, he suggests we question the mercenary that assaulted him which is in prison. I fear we might have to break our ethics and code of honor among many things here, but getting that mercenary out and... Somehow getting answers from him, might be our last hope. Listen "Eliza" if any of you got any Intel at your position, let us know, we are well hidden considering these men that have taken over most of what we can at this point say Was the order, at least the one we knew... Listen, if you got any Intel from your position, let us know, and damn it if these bastards begin killing people, any of you for that matter... ...At this rate the order will end up exposed, and remembered as some terrorist mindwashing religious cult... If you have anything, even ideas, share them with us, damn... All these years with efforts, creating a system of our own... Never hurting a damn fly, it seems like it is all going to end with most of our members getting recruited by a handful of specialized Russians or killed...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops