two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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Women's Professional _________

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

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hi

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Knock Knock Who's there The Holocaust!

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops