Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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Why didn't the ice cream cross the road? ??(?/?) ?. (KOREAN)

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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ajkswhfuilafhgkfdgbluft

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Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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do you currently smoke? i hope not.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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