Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Why was the gay guy sad?

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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what is big, black, and has hair on it. a big black guy with hair.

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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