How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

thumb_up thumb_down -24

(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops