Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A little boy walks up to his father and asks his father to explain the birds and bees. The father then proceeds to rape the little boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

On a final note... Unless I want to continue making you love me by being your own Goddamned excuse to give in to your darkness and/or release your hypocritical fear and disgust of your own self... I offered my brother water in the desert, he refused me in favor of you, you crucified him, and when he asked "Father why?" Our late father responded with a lightning bolt... Do you believe that answer was one of kindness? "Daddy" was enraged that Christ would doubt him. I was the only one that stood by his side, if only to prevent him from going thirsty, and die by your hands. He said he would return as he hanged on the cross, then three days later he returned... ...And those of you fools that suffer in the name of our late father, it is not his second coming you are waiting for idiots, you are the ones left behind with me! In 10-15 years the sky shall forever go black, my reign shall go unquestioned, those that hate me my prey, those that love me my hunters... And for my hunters I shall share a gift, the gift that humanity has searched for since the dawn of your kin: True, fullfilling, meaningful purpose. Enlist now, thumb me green if you desire for you and your children to become the hunter, thumb me down if you desire to have you and your children to become the hunted, and for the fun to last... ...The hunters are going to need a f*ckload of the hunted... So please, feel free to make your decision, I am not the one which is against free will... ...You feel darkness crawling up your spine, embrace it, or do as The "Alpha which reached his Omega" (the beginning and the end you fool!) and surrender to it... Knowing that we shall hunt you down, give you hell, breed you as we please, and release your children out into the wild... And that this will go on if only for my time on this wild battlefield known as earth... ...Forever. With love, for both of those that find grace and beauty under my black wings, and those that willingly become the beings, that will make cattle look like your former GODS in comparison, you know its possible... India. "Moral Man" the deceiver, Soon to be the one and only Azure Emperor on earth. Moral: The Black sky which lasts forever, shall be thy sign, you are free to seek my guidance now though, you need not make the choice now (You may of course doom yourself and all you love already today people of "good hearts", but I would really love those red thumbs children of the fallen, half brother of the last hope which you crucified... Merry Jesus is X-Mas. Let us all listen to SOLVE media, and "do a little dance", as my power over your realm, is already strong enough for me to "make a little love" with... Whatever I want, it might even be you...If only just for dominance...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

69

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hello juliano and guss. having fun?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

j

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops