Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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why was the clown sad? died of cancer and left his loving family to fend for themselves in this cruel, cruel world.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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why do cats hate dogs the Holocaust

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a boy jumps through a mirror and out a window then he fell so now he's dead.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam were having dinner together at a local restaurant. Which caused a group of Republicans sitting nearby to ask for another table.

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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